Can you write an amusing story about a SUMMER VACATION that includes 5 of these lines,just 4 the fun of It?

We just left on vacation yesterday and already things are getting interesting. Last night we stayed in a cabin in a National Park. My hubby thought it would be fun. Yeah right! When we got there I met him at the door to the place. No A/C, no TV and now I am told no hot water in addition to no place to eat!!!!! The dining hall was closed on account of a fire. This morning we decided to stop at a rest stop in Indiana. Who would think that that many ticks could infest a picnic area? For some reason the only one who didn't get a tick on him was my son. We were guessing it was because he is Tangy....verrrrry tangy! He eats nothing but catsup and turkey sandwiches. When we were eating lunch he decided to add some lettuce to his sandwich. Bad idea! It turned out to be Poison Ivyyyyy. Poison Ivyyyyy! Can you believe it? He is now covered with calamine lotion and we have had to throw out his clothes. When we finally arrived at the beach his eyes were swelled shut and he had to spend the day sitting in a beach chair. When I commented on the guy in the Speedo he exclaimed "In a SPEEDO?!!!! WHERE??????!!!!! I was so embarred and the guy's wife came over and had a few choice words for me. Let's just say she is unavailable for comment. The beach itself was littered with trash, hypodermic needles and asbestos. There was a giant sign at the entrance to the beach that if you find any of this stuff you should contact the authorities but my kids decided to gather it up and try to burn it instead! When someone hauled a fellow out of the surf with a giant hole in his sides we all got a little excited! He was telling the paramedics "Shark bites hurt you know?" Just then my husband turned to me and said "I think I just saw the Creature from The Black Lagoon. I ignored him because I was trying to prise the phone out of my daughters hands while screaming "If you text one more message on that thing I am going to throw it into the ocean! She jumped to her feet, yelled "What's the magic word?" and ran. Oh and just now, I am pretty sure I saw a guy in a Cowboy hat zoom by in a motorboat. He wasn't wearing anything. His boat was painted in bold letters on the side "The Miss Kitty." Oh and now the Coast Guard just zoomed by after him. If our whole vacation is this exciting I may have to go home early just to rest up before I go back to work!